Wow, I am so excited about my day that I don't know where to begin. First of all, it did not hurt all that much, and I am grateful for any pain that leads to this type of freedom. I guess I will begin with last night. A lot has happened since my last post. God has been really working on my heart problem. lol I have had a "tune up" if you will. :) He started last night, but He did most of His work today. Today we had an ongoing conversation about the bitterness situation. I honestly started out combatting His reminders, with a lot of "yeah, but..." statements, but He knows how to shut that up. I cannot tell you all of the things Father reminded me of, but overall, He explained to me that this problem has little to do with the other person, and a whole lot to do with me and Him. He told me that I had forgotten who I was. That I had forgotten that first and foremost, I am His.
Rom 8:16 The Spirit itself beareth witness with our spirit, that we are the children of God:
And because I am His, my life is no longer my own.
Gal 2:20 I am crucified with Christ: nevertheless I live; yet not I, but Christ liveth in me: and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by the faith of the Son of God, who loved me, and gave himself for me.
He reminded me to humble myself before Him, to do everything as unto Him, and to serve Him with my whole heart. And in the process of remembering who I am, somehow my heart has completely changed. Yeah, I know... that was quick, but you see this was all stuff that I used to know. I am not sure how I got so far away, but I am so glad to be back where He wants me.
I wrote a very nice response letter to the person that I was talking about earlier, and in the letter, I made the comment that we were here to serve. My mentor suggested that I remove the comment, less it be taken the wrong way. I did remove it, but honestly I meant exactly that. I have no agenda other than to do His will. Any authority that is in place, especially in a church, is there because He has allowed it. While I have no problem with voicing my opinions, I also have no agenda other than to serve and be a blessing. I am totally free.
Tonight at prayer, I spent some time apologizing to God, for my lapse in Rozness (lol, see You, Me, and Dupree), and telling Him that I am gratefull for bringing me back to a place of total peace. God began to talk to me about how He has not been able to bless me, like He has wanted to, because of the things that have been going on with me lately. (It has not been just the thing with the person. I did not tell anybody, but on Wednesday night, I barely wanted to even go to church. When I got there, and knew that my Pastor was going to preach something that I needed to hear, I was pretty annoyed to have to go to Children's Church. That is a whole other issue. For some reason, I have been fighting an aversion to working with children. We talked about that today too, among other things. The aversion is no more. :) )
Anyway, He said that now, He can move in my life in a greater way. I don't write about what He does for me enough, but all I can say is WOW! God has blessed me so much this year, and to think that He has wanted to bless me more! That is pretty exciting. God is so good, even when we are so bad. :) Well, I just wanted to update. As for the other person, I love her, and I can honestly say, my heart is pure toward her. It is amazing what Love can do. Speaking of which, I was in line at the grocery store after prayer, and this came up in my spirit:
I love the Lord with all my heart
I love the Lord wiht all my strength
I love the Lord with all my soul
The Power of Love has made me whole.
I am filled with the Power of Love.
It was one of those things that just snuck up on me. Oh, God asked me to do something on the 31st. I had planned on doing nothing, but I guess I will call tomorrow and ask them to put me down for something. I am not sure what. :)
That is all for now.
Yeah, I know...two days in a row. I am going for a record.
Peace, Love, and Blessings from Above,
Roz
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